I avoid this day like the plague. I hate getting my hair cut. If you're like most of us, getting a haircut feels like the worst decision of your life. I go through a range of emotions that are just so draining. So today I want to talk about my experience and hopefully get over my heartbreak with all the things we're thinking, but don't want to say.
For my day off, I thought I would go in and get my hair cut at a very well known hair salon. I don't want to mention names because I'm not in the business of ruining anyone's reputation, especially if many people have great experiences there. This year I wanted to grow out my hair so I could style it with these luscious curls all these women have. I thought, yeah.... I want that too! Here I am, early July, and I'm dying with this hair. I decided I would go back to the A-Line Bob. Definitely one of my favorites. It makes me feel cute and it thins my hair out. I happen to have EXTREMELY thick hair. It sucks BAD! My hair was also past my shoulders at this point.
The woman who wasn't my usual stylist (because my usual stylist doesn't work there anymore) asked me what I wanted. I told her an A-Line Bob. I began to tell her, my hair is extremely thick so I'd also like it thinned out quite a bit. I told her usually my hair goes through what people call hair cut shock. After a cut, my hair puffs out at the ends and it gets even thicker. I told her my previous stylist used the razor to avoid that. She asked if I had a picture of what I wanted. I told her yes and proceeded to show her. The hair of the model in the picture had a pretty drastic A-line bob. It was gorgeous. She asked me if I wanted it shorter or longer than the picture. I said, just like the picture. She said it would be easy to do with the length of my hair. I thought, perfect!
She washed my hair and began cutting. She was friendly, made casual chit chat, and made sure she didn't yank my hair when she combed it. So she finally finished the cut and I thought, huh... that doesn't look right. However, I assumed it would look better as soon as she began styling it. However, she did not. I asked, were you going to style it? And she looked at me confused and said, "No, we don't do that here." I asked that if I paid more, if she could. She refused and sent me on my way. That should have been my first red flag!!! I paid for my cut coming out pretty bummed out. I tipped her well over 20%. I wasn't quite sure if the hair was correct or not since it wasn't styled. And, I can't really take it out of her tip if they don't style the hair. I gave her the benefit of the doubt there. Besides, when my hair starts drying, it starts to curl up. So, it's difficult to tell exactly what happened.
I got home and styled my own hair. As I straightened and styled it myself, the dread doomed in. My hair was far from that beautiful A-line bob I wanted. Instead, I had received a short hair cut and she had cut it completely straight. I think she made a mistake, but didn't want to own up to it. Recalling the experience, she never gave me a mirror to look at the back. Perhaps she didn't know how to do the A-line bob and didn't want me to know? Either way, it was disappointing. At least I don't look like crap.
The next day, I realized how ugly my haircut was. It felt heavy when it should have felt lighter. It was a complete furball even after brushing it. I was pretty butt hurt when I went to work and my friends were telling me, holy shit she fucked up bad! They said the cut looked nothing like an A-Line and on top of that, it wasn't even on both sides with length. I went to the salon and asked for a refund. It was actually kind of a hassle because they wanted to make sure the cut was indeed messed up. After 3 hairdressers checked my hair, they offered to fix it. I told them no. I said, you guys messed up it once, I can't afford to look like crap. They reluctantly said okay, never apologized and sent me on my way. I ended up going to get it fixed with another hairdresser the following day. Even she told me the cut was pretty messed up. In order to fix it and give me the dramatic A-Line I wanted, she needed to take it up higher. I told her okay. It was pretty short but it finally looked cute and thin!
Now, for some hairdressers, their response would be, you should have said something at the beginning. Here's the reason we lowly people do not let you guys know we hate our hair cut. For one, you've already cut our hair shorter than what it was. "Fixing" the haircut will require re-cutting it and making it even shorter than it already was! If we wanted it that short, we would have said so at the beginning. Another thing, you may become upset (we're all human, don't deny it doesn't happen) and think "Well, I messed this up, there goes my tip. Why even bother now." We're not trying to make you feel that way. Hence, why I still tipped well even though I wasn't 100% happy.
So this happens very often in our lives. It really sucks. The nice thing to take away from this is that hair will always grow back. So while we may hate our hair for the time being, it will grow back and we can always try again. Sometimes your end up loving it the next day. But, when you don't, don't be afraid to go back, get it fixed or ask for a refund. Many people want to shame you, but the fact of the matter is that they don't have to go around feeling unhappy due to a shitty haircut. So do what makes you happy!
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Monday, July 3, 2017
Trying to Conceive #1
Hello Blog World!
So this week starts a somewhat important week for me in the baby making process. It's ovulation week. It's also my final cycle of trying to conceive on my own without seeing a specialist. I've decided and it's final!
I'm at this point where we've tried everything! We bought one of those sperm count test kits for my boyfriend to test his junk. I'm taking prenatals to get my body used to them and to hopefully obtain the vitamins it could be missing. I'm measuring my basal body temperature and I'm using all the apps to get the recommendations.
The boyfriend and I are both taking fertility blends who everyone swears by! They say they're the more "natural" way of getting pregnant instead of going to Clomid or Serophene. However, I have yet to see any results in a positive pregnancy. I've been taking them for roughly 5 months now. I will say that they are pretty fantastic in many other ways! So, the first day I took them, I felt somewhat of a cramp on my left side which was weird. But, other than that I really found no discomfort. As I continued to take them (3 a day), I found myself more and more energized. So, I really enjoyed that. As per usual, to my disappointment, Aunt Flow came for her monthly visit. However, her visit was not as unpleasant as usual. I'll be elaborating some on that so....
*TMI on it's way, so read ahead if you'd rather avoid! If you haven't left yet, you asked for it!*
When I first started getting my monthly visits, they were awful. The cramps were so unbearable, I would lay in bed for hours. I ended up taking acetaminophen to relieve the pain the first 2 days. My flow was ridiculously heavy for all 7 days and extremely irregular. As I became sexually active, my visits were more bearable and more regular. They were expected on the particular day at 8 a.m. The day before Aunt Flow shows up, I require a bag of hot Cheetos with cheese desperately. I don't know what it is, but that's the first sign. Day 1 of Aunt Flow's visit is usually light with cramps. Day 2 becomes heavy along with Day 3. Day 4 and 5 lighten up and Day 6 and 7 is just spotting. So with these Fertility Blends Aunt Flow comes for only 5 days, 6 max. Day 1 is spotting with Day 2 relatively heavy (however, not as heavy as usual). Day 3 and 4 it's really light and Day 5 is spotting. Day 6 sometimes will be extra spotting. Finally, the best part NO CRAMPS!!!
*TMI IS OVER, you may continue reading*
The Fertility Blends were also great when it came to eating. I'm usually hungry ALL THE TIME. However, they curved my hunger quite a bit. I'm sure that's partially the prenatals too. My body has a lot of the required vitamins needed now, so I don't feel the need to add all that food to get my vitamins.
So we've tried everything that's in our control at this point. So this cycle is particularly special. If I don't get pregnant this time, I'm seeing a specialist. Part of the steps towards that is that this cycle, I've committed to drinking a gallon of water a day. I drink water for sure, but not that much. It's definitely a struggle. I'm also exercising which is the world struggle for me to date. I HATE to exercise. I would much rather be sitting in front of the TV, snuggled up with the boyfriend, and eating whatever the hell I want! Everyone talks about the endorphins when exercising, but I can't seem to get to that point. It depresses me if anything. Last week I worked out one day and I was sore for the entire week! I figured I better get my body used to it. So I stopped that week until it didn't hurt anymore. I'm back at it this week starting today, but I hate it. Maybe once I get into the groove, I'll enjoy it. Who knows. Yuck. (haha)
After this cycle, we're planning on buying that Yo Sperm Kit. My boss at work showed me a video of it and what it does. It's actually really cool and it provides privacy for men to see what's going on with their junk! So, you order this kit for $49.95. It includes a mini microscope that attaches to your cell phone and 2 tests to test your sperm motility. So here's the dealio, you get to see the sperm motility through the mini microscope through your phone. There's an app you download so it guides you on how to do the test and actually see your swimmers in real time! So when it comes to fertility checks, they can definitely be crazy expensive. This test kit helps minimize just a little when it comes to that. You'll be able to save the video of the little swimmers and show it to your fertility specialist and hopefully avoid too many expensive tests.
For the women who go through these lengths in trying to conceive, you go through all these range of emotions some people will never understand. Once Aunt Flow says her goodbyes, you get super excited to start trying again. All the sex! It's always fun for us. I look forward to it so much. The boyfriend and I have very opposite work schedules. So we don't always have time. Therein lies the fun for me. I like to come home after a shift (he's usually asleep because he works an 8-5 job) and surprise him. Ha! I mean, it's always so much fun! He does the same too every once in a while! After all the sex, you start to get more excited. It's almost time to start testing to see if you're pregnant. You get so excited, you buy a bunch of pregnancy tests you don't really need! You test early even though you're not supposed to. It's negative, duh. Okay, okay, it's negative, but I tested early. It's probably a false negative! So, you test the day before Aunt Flow's visit. Negative. Okay, it's probably still a false negative. Aunt Flow is late! Another negative. False negative, it has to be! Aunt Flow is finally here. Depression. Of course I'm not pregnant. Why would I be? I don't need all these pregnancy tests now. Oh, so and so is pregnant. Man. It's so easy for everyone. She says they weren't even trying. Damn. So and so said she's pregnant now. She always said she didn't want kids. What the hell? God must have a very sick sense of humor. Okay, no I didn't mean that. Please, I just don't understand how everyone else has kids so easily. What's wrong with me? And it's just a vicious cycle. Back and forth, back and forth.
My words to this is, I know it's hard. And it sucks so bad. I'm not even going to lie, but I felt angry with myself so many times. But, I'm trying to learn to be easy on myself. I'm not an awful person for some of the things I think or say. So try to be kind to yourself during this process. It's easier said than done, but you're entitled to feel sad, angry, desperate, confused, happy. People will tell you that it will happen in time, to stop trying, to not think about it, that's it's not God's will right now, that be lucky that you're not experiences the pregnancy symptoms your friend is, and so many other things. You just want to punch them in the face or slap them. Be kind to yourself. It's okay to feel that way. These are the people who will never understand what you're going through. This is a struggle but we are all warriors in this life. We can rise and we can survive it.
So this week starts a somewhat important week for me in the baby making process. It's ovulation week. It's also my final cycle of trying to conceive on my own without seeing a specialist. I've decided and it's final!
I'm at this point where we've tried everything! We bought one of those sperm count test kits for my boyfriend to test his junk. I'm taking prenatals to get my body used to them and to hopefully obtain the vitamins it could be missing. I'm measuring my basal body temperature and I'm using all the apps to get the recommendations.
The boyfriend and I are both taking fertility blends who everyone swears by! They say they're the more "natural" way of getting pregnant instead of going to Clomid or Serophene. However, I have yet to see any results in a positive pregnancy. I've been taking them for roughly 5 months now. I will say that they are pretty fantastic in many other ways! So, the first day I took them, I felt somewhat of a cramp on my left side which was weird. But, other than that I really found no discomfort. As I continued to take them (3 a day), I found myself more and more energized. So, I really enjoyed that. As per usual, to my disappointment, Aunt Flow came for her monthly visit. However, her visit was not as unpleasant as usual. I'll be elaborating some on that so....
*TMI on it's way, so read ahead if you'd rather avoid! If you haven't left yet, you asked for it!*
When I first started getting my monthly visits, they were awful. The cramps were so unbearable, I would lay in bed for hours. I ended up taking acetaminophen to relieve the pain the first 2 days. My flow was ridiculously heavy for all 7 days and extremely irregular. As I became sexually active, my visits were more bearable and more regular. They were expected on the particular day at 8 a.m. The day before Aunt Flow shows up, I require a bag of hot Cheetos with cheese desperately. I don't know what it is, but that's the first sign. Day 1 of Aunt Flow's visit is usually light with cramps. Day 2 becomes heavy along with Day 3. Day 4 and 5 lighten up and Day 6 and 7 is just spotting. So with these Fertility Blends Aunt Flow comes for only 5 days, 6 max. Day 1 is spotting with Day 2 relatively heavy (however, not as heavy as usual). Day 3 and 4 it's really light and Day 5 is spotting. Day 6 sometimes will be extra spotting. Finally, the best part NO CRAMPS!!!
*TMI IS OVER, you may continue reading*
The Fertility Blends were also great when it came to eating. I'm usually hungry ALL THE TIME. However, they curved my hunger quite a bit. I'm sure that's partially the prenatals too. My body has a lot of the required vitamins needed now, so I don't feel the need to add all that food to get my vitamins.
So we've tried everything that's in our control at this point. So this cycle is particularly special. If I don't get pregnant this time, I'm seeing a specialist. Part of the steps towards that is that this cycle, I've committed to drinking a gallon of water a day. I drink water for sure, but not that much. It's definitely a struggle. I'm also exercising which is the world struggle for me to date. I HATE to exercise. I would much rather be sitting in front of the TV, snuggled up with the boyfriend, and eating whatever the hell I want! Everyone talks about the endorphins when exercising, but I can't seem to get to that point. It depresses me if anything. Last week I worked out one day and I was sore for the entire week! I figured I better get my body used to it. So I stopped that week until it didn't hurt anymore. I'm back at it this week starting today, but I hate it. Maybe once I get into the groove, I'll enjoy it. Who knows. Yuck. (haha)
After this cycle, we're planning on buying that Yo Sperm Kit. My boss at work showed me a video of it and what it does. It's actually really cool and it provides privacy for men to see what's going on with their junk! So, you order this kit for $49.95. It includes a mini microscope that attaches to your cell phone and 2 tests to test your sperm motility. So here's the dealio, you get to see the sperm motility through the mini microscope through your phone. There's an app you download so it guides you on how to do the test and actually see your swimmers in real time! So when it comes to fertility checks, they can definitely be crazy expensive. This test kit helps minimize just a little when it comes to that. You'll be able to save the video of the little swimmers and show it to your fertility specialist and hopefully avoid too many expensive tests.
For the women who go through these lengths in trying to conceive, you go through all these range of emotions some people will never understand. Once Aunt Flow says her goodbyes, you get super excited to start trying again. All the sex! It's always fun for us. I look forward to it so much. The boyfriend and I have very opposite work schedules. So we don't always have time. Therein lies the fun for me. I like to come home after a shift (he's usually asleep because he works an 8-5 job) and surprise him. Ha! I mean, it's always so much fun! He does the same too every once in a while! After all the sex, you start to get more excited. It's almost time to start testing to see if you're pregnant. You get so excited, you buy a bunch of pregnancy tests you don't really need! You test early even though you're not supposed to. It's negative, duh. Okay, okay, it's negative, but I tested early. It's probably a false negative! So, you test the day before Aunt Flow's visit. Negative. Okay, it's probably still a false negative. Aunt Flow is late! Another negative. False negative, it has to be! Aunt Flow is finally here. Depression. Of course I'm not pregnant. Why would I be? I don't need all these pregnancy tests now. Oh, so and so is pregnant. Man. It's so easy for everyone. She says they weren't even trying. Damn. So and so said she's pregnant now. She always said she didn't want kids. What the hell? God must have a very sick sense of humor. Okay, no I didn't mean that. Please, I just don't understand how everyone else has kids so easily. What's wrong with me? And it's just a vicious cycle. Back and forth, back and forth.
My words to this is, I know it's hard. And it sucks so bad. I'm not even going to lie, but I felt angry with myself so many times. But, I'm trying to learn to be easy on myself. I'm not an awful person for some of the things I think or say. So try to be kind to yourself during this process. It's easier said than done, but you're entitled to feel sad, angry, desperate, confused, happy. People will tell you that it will happen in time, to stop trying, to not think about it, that's it's not God's will right now, that be lucky that you're not experiences the pregnancy symptoms your friend is, and so many other things. You just want to punch them in the face or slap them. Be kind to yourself. It's okay to feel that way. These are the people who will never understand what you're going through. This is a struggle but we are all warriors in this life. We can rise and we can survive it.
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